The Ultimate Guide to Sexting – 2020

Although sexting is yet to be recommended in couples’ therapy, the new trend is gaining widespread popularity among adults and more so married couples. Sexting was previously viewed as deviant and sexually promiscuous. However, its robust popularity among adults prompted a series of studies which albeit preliminary, have thus far confirmed a host of positive consequences among participants.

Sexting isn’t all explicit

Sexting doesn’t always have to be sexually explicit. It might involve conveying innuendos, sexual thoughts, fantasies, and urges suggestively. As mentioned earlier, sexting is associated with numerous benefits including enhancing intimacy among lovebirds. Subjects in recent studies have confirmed that the indulgence actually improves sexual connection among partners.

Enhances emotional intimacy

Sex in itself is known to enhance partners’ emotional intimacy and subsequently their general well-being. Sexting involves connecting on “sexual grounds” which can have the similar results. Romantic partners who sext feel supported and are in better a better position to manage stress and other emotional turmoil.

As you might have noticed in case you are an active sexter, sexting spices up your sex-life. Relationship couches believe that sexting is a marvelous foreplay. It is a sure ticket out of a dreadful dry spell. It is hard to ignore sultry nudes sent to your phone on a lazy Friday afternoon accompanied with sexually suggestive captions. When done right, sexting helps build up anticipation which can then be acted upon probably at a later time. It is the perfect tool for turning up the heat in your relationship and ensuring you are sexually active.

Perfect communication tool

Sexting can be an important communication tool in your relationship. Talking out your issues is essential in any relationship be it professional or romantic. Fortunately for romantic relationships you can air your views and suggestions via sexts. It is a safe space for recommending new sex positions- informing your partner in a playful way what works and what doesn’t in bed without sparking negative energy.

Sexting gives you the opportunity to share your wild sexual desires, perhaps propose some naughty expeditions which you believe will inject new enthusiasm into the relationship. The passion and excitement elicited through sexting is downright necessary for the quality and longevity of the relationship. If you feel that missionary isn’t doing you any justice I suggest saving your marriage with a -“how about doggystyle for dinner tonight” sext and watch it perform the magic.

Enhances body confidence and self-esteem

Sexting among teens was associated with lower self-esteem. However, a recent study revealed that the effect is opposite for adults. Adults that sexts happen to be more self-conscious and confident. They sext to derive pleasure unlike some teenagers who sext to compensate for something probably a form of psychological disorder.

If you are looking for a little physical validation then sexting could be your solution. A number of couples end up in therapy because they are not sure their partners are attracted to them. Getting a solid affirmation from your partner that they are attracted to you is fulfilling. This means that a positive response to your partner’s nudes can go a long way to enhancing how they feel about themselves and perhaps improve your sex life.

You’ll be surprised by the number of couples who shag only in the dark because one of them is ashamed of their body. Giving them a warm response on their nudes could help them gain more body confidence which would in turn reflect on the quality of your romantic lives. It is important to remind your partner that you think about them and that you are longing for an adventurous night. As discussed earlier, this helps build anticipation, pushing their sex drives through the ceiling ahead of a magical sexual experience.

Aids long distance relationships

Sexting is believed to have meaningful benefits among lovebirds in a long distance relationship. Sexting comes in handy when the only way to keep the fire burning is through constant communication. It helps keep your partner in mind and avoid countless temptations associated with dry spells. If you are good enough you can sext to strong orgasms- of course with aids of toys and a good lube for guys. In fact the internet has made it easy for men to masturbate to raunchy sexts by professional sexting models who knows just the right words to get them exploding all over the place.

Above all, sexting is fun. It is an exciting way to communicate with your significant other while building up sexual desire. Like other kinky sexual activities, sexting leads to a satisfactory romantic relationship. For others, sexting can be a perfect way to killing time on a less eventful day. Instead of day dreaming about your significant other, it might mean something to send them a sext and get yourself sucked into virtual romance.

Sexting for a healthy intimate relationship

Forget the “unjustified” health concerns-sexting is awesome! A decent number of researchers have confirmed a direct correlation between sexting and a fulfilling romantic relationship. The new trend has proven to be a magnificent way to pump eroticism into relationships- not only for kinky millenials but also for individuals in committed relationships.

Open sexual communication is an essential recipe for a healthy relationship, and sexting is at the center of it. Like great sex, sexting should be done right. It should be punchy, with a flirty twist. Sexting comes in different digital forms including raunchy texts, pictures, GIFs, emojis, memes among others.

Know your audience

The goal is to turn your partner on like crazy without coming out as abusive and arrogant. You need to be as natural as possible but don’t worry, after this crash program you’ll be sexting like a pro! First we’ll go through the rule of thumbs, the dos and don’ts of sexting. For starters, it is important to know your audience; what they like and what they don’t. Sexting should be consensual. Sending someone you just met unsolicited pictures of your dick is sexual harassment.

It is equally important to master the lingo. For instance calling her your bitch and other hardcore terminologies you learnt from porn may come out as abusive and trust me you don’t wanna send this kind of vibe to someone you are looking to impress. This boils down to knowing your partner well enough which will inform the type of language to use.

Perfect timing

Don’t get me wrong- if they are okay with it I suggest you go with the flow but don’t take it too far though. Perfect timing is a big part of mastering the art of sexting. It doesn’t matter if you got everything right, if your text or picture falls in the wrong hands you ruined it for yourself and for the other party. Believe me you can’t move on from your nudes being broadcasted in a room packed with business executives.

Ask your partner if they are available for a playful session to avoid being the office laughing stock. Besides, great timing ensures that your significant other is in the right mood for sexting. This will save you from receiving cold responses like a thumbs up emoji for a steamy selfie of your cleavage.

Trying too hard is another common blunder people make while sexting. They fail to understand that sexting is about building up anticipating and having fun while at it. Ensure you are within your comfort zone. Decide how far you are willing to go, for instance, send them nudes that can hardly be traced back to you. Perhaps censor your face and maybe all identifiable body marks or tattoos. The last thing you want is waking up to your nudes circulated all over the internet.


Take it slow, begin with moderately flirtatious texts as you gradually escalate to outright explicit content. How you begin and proceed depends on how much you know the person. For instance, texting her that you feel like eating her pussy while you’ve only received a warm hug from her in reality is highly inappropriate. However, she gave you a kiss during the day it’s fine reminisce about it, perhaps tell her that you’re still thinking about the kiss and thank her for the fun earlier in the day. Build up from her response and in no time you’ll be swimming sexually suggestive texts.

A little humor

Additionally, humor is a perfect pillar of great sexting. Humor keeps the conversation lively and a little playful. Appearing serious and overly intense quickly spoils the mood. Focus at making the other person smile and laugh, be fun to converse with. It helps make them open up more and feel comfortable talking smut with you.

You should also be descriptive in a creative way. Don’t be obvious and obsolete. This goes to the older generation who may be tempted to use archaic phrases from the ‘70s. While they might have been panty-dropping back in the day, it is 2019 dammit! Learn the lingo like I mentioned earlier.

While being descriptive remember to be short and sweet. Stop with the Harry Porter- like shit that can cure her insomnia. Make her want you badly in precise phrases and sentences. Your communication should be easily digestible to make the conversation interactive and subsequently achieving the desired outcome.

If you are new to this ensure you learn to manage your anxiety. It helps to admit to your partner that you are a rookie but quite open to learning.

Sexting and emotional intimacy

A newly published study on the subject of computers in human behavior has linked sexting to increased emotional intimacy among partners in a romantic relationship. The new findings will go a long way to legitimizing sexting in adult relationships although there’s no guarantee that the new trend popularized by adolescents will increase commitment as well. According to the study, partners that sext often enjoy a healthy sex life which is without doubt an ingredient of as strong emotional bond.

A separate study also concluded that partners that exchange sexy messages have a generally greater sexual satisfaction. In light of these scientific studies, it is just a matter of time before sexting is adopted as a remedial marriage counselling tool. In fact, we are almost half way there considering relationship experts propose an open and more honest communication between partners in a romantic relationship.

Almost every passionless and sexless marriage ends in cheating then divorce in that order. Looking back to almost all of the said marriages, partners ceased to do the little things like communicating their feelings and disappointments which slowly by slowly became heavier and eventually sank the whole ship to the bottom of the sea. The lack of communication dried up the kink that was there in the first place exposing the partners’ ‘faults’ which had previously been concealed in their sexiness.

Sexting creates Liveliness

There’s a vibe of liveliness that comes with great descriptive sexting among partners. It provides an opportunity to connect on sexual grounds which is generally an intimate subject. Depending on how the message is packaged, the outcome could potentially go either way. Of course good sexting skills will increase your chances of getting laid while on the contrary things can go horribly sideways. Sex in itself is a sensitive subject and sending unsolicited sexts could be construed as sexual harassment which is punishable by law.

Therefore, sexting is recommended for consenting adults as a means of building sexual anticipation and desire. That’s right, flirting with your partner with sensual texts and nudes keeps eagerly yearning for the real action. It works perfectly in both casual and committed relationships. Even better, sexting can helps partners in long distant relationships keep the fire burning as well as rekindle the spark in fading relationships.

More often people don’t know what they want until it is shown to them. In this context, a suggestive snap of your breasts after a shower could be the miracle you need to revamp your sex life and ultimately save your marriage. It is easier when you’ve been together long enough and understand what works for your partner sexually. Woman have lots of advantage in this game because men are literally turned on by the smallest of things. You don’t need to go full nude to get him turned on like hell. For men, things work magically when they are left to imagination.

When he is having idle chatter with colleagues during lunch break hit him with a picture of your inner thighs captioned “guess what I’m not wearing”. It doesn’t have to be pictures always, a good naughty text can also do the trick. Don’t be too serious in your sexts, just thoughtfully playful if that’s a thing. Remind them of the great sexcapades of the past and how much you crave for the “stupid” things you did under the sheets, in the bathroom, couch and that one time in the woods during a hike. Make sure he connects with these memories and begin preparing for a romantic evening.

Good sex involves connecting strongly on emotional grounds. When emotions are taken out of sex it becomes straight rape so you can imagine how many people get raped “voluntarily” in their matrimonial beds. This points to the importance building up emotional intimacy ahead of every meaningful sex. Sexting helps partners communicate new ideas and thoughts without prejudice. In a playful way you can suggest kinky sex positions and techniques you would wish to try out with your partner.

I learnt that the best time to raise a concern is when everyone is having a good time and are not defensive unlike immediately when they committed the mistake. Humans are creatures of emotions not logic and their ego always springs to defense whenever they feel threatened physically or intellectually explaining why people don’t apologize even when they know they should. During sexting however, there’s no space for ego and couples can cleverly “demand” for an apology and straighten their relationships for the sake of sex if you understand what I’m saying. This psychology although weak reinforces sexting position in alleviating differences among partners and strengthening their emotional intimacy. Besides its role in building a strong emotional bond between partners in a romantic relationship, sexting is fun and a good way to pass time.

Remember all the essentials, take things slow, perfect timing, never trying too hard, be descriptive, humorous, and short and sweet! Get one foot in front of the other and soon enough you’ll get the hang of it!

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