It Is Natural And Healthy To Have Sexual Fantasies
According to sex therapists, episodes of erotic fantasies are an indication that one possesses a healthy means of getting their mind to stir up a sexual response.
Having sexual fantasies is completely natural regardless of whether you plan to see your fantasies through or not! Sexual fantasies may stem from fictional mental characters or erotic memories about subjects that happen to get us off sexually.
Fantasies about certain sexual practices are meant to trigger sexual arousal and are not necessarily a reflection of the things a person desires in real life –although to some degree our dirty thoughts can give us clues of what we might like in real life.
Besides seeking arousal, a lot of folks fantasize out of curiosity. Consider this; we may not experience every bizarre sexual sensation in real life, but we can fantasize about them.
The Added Layer Of Taboo
Fantasies also help people explore taboo sex, and maybe plot to actualize these experiences at some later date. The thought of hooking up with your married college professor might encourage you to plan for a teacher/ student role play session with your partner.
Some folks use fantasies to skip reality a little to meet unfulfilled sexual needs. Whatever your fantasies look like, experts recommend acting on them to spice up your bedroom routine.
Women happen to be very creative with their erotic fantasies. Like men, their common fantasies revolve around taboo sex and other eccentric sexual practices. Let’s discuss some of the women’s common sexual fantasies.
Getting It On With A Stranger
Modern society insists on monogamy when it knows deep down that it doesn’t come naturally to humans.
Women secretly die to have sex with complete strangers –the kind that is random and spontaneous.
They would fantasize about things like –they just moved into a new apartment and the handsome dude next-door offers to help them arrange the apartment. He invites her for a drink at his place afterward, one thing leads to another and the next thing you know, she’s waking up on his bare chest in the morning with her panties dangling around one of her ankles.
Removing The Strings
Random hookups with strangers at the gym with a personal trainer is a common fantasy among women. Call it slutty, but it remains one of their top sexual fantasies. Hooking up randomly with people they just met symbolizes freedom; and freedom is sexy all day, any day! Whether they plan to act this fantasy out or not, the thought of it alone gives them enough thrills.
Sometimes women prefer no-strings-attached kind of arrangement with people they might never meet again just to have new sexual experiences. They take emotions out of the whole damn thing and just enjoy the good casual sex. Some women are scared of emotional connections and intimacy. This also works when they don’t want to be tied down to one sexual partner forever –as I hinted, monogamy is unrealistic!
Having sex with a stranger allows women to ditch intimacy and emotional connection and just focus on the pleasurable act of sex!
Having Sex With People They Shouldn’t Be Sexing
Indeed, forbidden fruits taste sweeter! Boyfriend’s friend, stepbrothers, ex’s friend, step daddies, and distant cousins should be off limits!
Girl’s code 101, hands off a friend’s exes! It is disrespectful to get dirty with them! This might be the written rule, but underneath, every girl secretly wants to smash the dudes on the ‘sacred’ list. They are dying to, go, rogue, show society the middle finger, and experience the Wild West!
The psychology behind this unconventional fantasy is complicated, to say the least. It is quite common for men and women alike to be attracted sexually to people they shouldn’t be attracted to. In fact, mainstream porn has commercialized this fantasy with the taboo sex category. You are likely to come across videos with these kinds of plots.
Like –‘girl sends a friend to collect stuff from her ex’s apartment after a nasty breakup, and the friend ends up smashing the ex while at it!’ The scripts follow some cheesy plot like ‘the dude walks in on the girl trying on her friend’s clothes. He is attracted by the view of her ample bosom, so he makes a move, a little seduction latter, and boom! –he’s eating from the forbidden tree!
Similar plots like stepbrother feasting secretly on stepsister living under the same roof, or a stepmother seduces her handsome stepson and ends up screwing him when her husband is not around.
Interestingly, these kinds of videos attract a lot of traffic probably because it is a fantasy common among many people.
Exploring Submission and Dominance!
Women may look cool from the outside, but deep down they are craving some Fifty Shades Of Grey level of dominance. Ask any woman what they think about the movie or book –Fifty Shades of Grey, and you’ll be surprised by their responses!
A majority of women believe the film was an eye-opener into a world of romance they’d only fantasized about. Check out the numbers; only 1.3% of women admit to being in a committed BDSM relationship.
However, a staggering 64.6% of women confess that they occasionally fantasize about being dominated sexually. This is a substantial percentage of women fancying BDSM on the down low! They fantasize about getting choked during sex, some hair pulling and biting, spanking, and verbal abuse among other BDSM acts.
Other popular fantasies women have include having sex with an authority figure like police or teachers. Every school girl at some point fantasizes about having sex with their teacher, while others fantasizing about screwing a police officer to avoid getting a speeding ticket.
Same Sex Encounters
Also, believe it or not, many women fantasize about having sex with other women. Some girls experience a ‘lesbian phase’ where they try out the offerings on the other side of the menu.
Furthermore, a recent survey established that nearly 42% of women have thought about participating in group sex. Swinging is also among top women’s fantasy, and so is getting spit-roasted hardcore.
May 6, 2020 (updated May 15, 2020) Published by Sexxxters
There’s no doubt that technology has opened up multiple channels for adult sexual communication. Although the ultimate technology in the area of virtual sex is yet to hit the markets, the idea of tech-assisted sex is not far-fetched after all. Virtual sex is no longer a thing for the future as it might be commonly mistaken, or perhaps we are living in the future considering guys are already enjoying realistic hands-free sexual pleasure thanks to the availability of aiding technologies.
There have been concerns from relationship experts and sex therapists that virtual sex or rather the whole idea of tech-assisted sex and relationship is threatening real life intimacy. Admittedly, rapidly evolving technology and emerging trends in the sector have disrupted the frameworks of dating, courtships and perhaps our view on physical relationships. Even so, the great evolutions in the sector do not justify claims that virtual sex is a real threat to real intimacy. Contrary, I believe virtual sex actually complements traditional in-person sex.
The whole idea of virtual sex- with virtual sex in this case standing for any form of hands-free intimacy including cybersex, sexting and phone sex -is to have harmless fun probably over the internet which can only leave participants craving for real physical sex with a real person. Even with the advanced woks in robotics I’m still not convinced that technology can wholly substitute humans. Anyone can tell you that even after a steamy self-pleasuring session, good old-fashion pussy and dick are still irresistible.
Maybe it eases off the sexual tension in the moment, but for how long? Humans cannot live off masturbation alone. No offense to engineers and creative experts in the adult sex toys industry, they’ve done a wonderful job developing aids that offer great sexual pleasure- but they are no match to a good dick making its way to the bottom of an itchy pussy craving a good fuck. One can argue that a battery-operated vibrator does the trick for ladies, well, how often does the vibrator fondle your amazing breasts- perhaps reach out for a deep passionate kiss while sinking balls deep down there until you cannot help but dim your vision and float in ecstasy. When the last time that piece of dildo licked your wet pussy, sucking your clitoris skillfully before positioning you for a hardcore doggystyle!
Virtual sex can only compliment physical sex and not phase it off. Even the introverts who have found refuge in sexting and self-pleasuring still fantasize on when they will get an actual woman, munch their pussy like a cupcake then sink their tool to the balls then do it again and again. I’m convinced that it is not in the nature of humans to go solo every other night and not lust for some real human touch. Humans are social beings that even the best toys in the world can’t satisfy their animalistic sex appetite.
Don’t get it twisted, I enjoy a quick solo session in the bathroom. But sometimes I rush there to pull one off so that I can last longer in the first round with my woman. Yeah I know it’s cheating and I should be punished for it but premature ejaculation is a real thing and a bitchy thing in that case. Just when you are convinced that you can still last a few minutes the grip down there intensifies and no less in the most sensitive past of the shaft triggering an explosive torrent of sneaky little tadpoles.
Recently a friend related an incidence where virtual sex really saved his relationship. He narrated that sometime back when they were trying to work it out long-distance with her girl, he would quickly sign in to snapchat premium, get himself a sensual horny chic and have a fun in her private chat room and that was it, he would be good until her girl visits. Virtual sex is good at getting you through the dreadful dry spells if you will. I read an informal post that it’s healthy for guys to ejaculate at least 21 times in month. I can’t ascertain the science behind this theory but I’m pretty sure the average guy would masturbate to meet this target. This is where virtual sex comes in handy.
I’m sure a good number of people can attest to having sexted or face-timed with their significant other or a professional webcam model to keep a long distance relationship working. It is not for me to justify if this is ethical but I stand with my assertion that it does not in any way threaten physical sex. Guys would sext to build anticipation for real physical intimacy. I believe good sexting has something to do with elevating participants’ sex drive in some way although I’d have to collect more data to back thesis up.
April 30, 2020 (updated May 7, 2020) Published by Sexxxters
Although sexting is yet to be recommended in couples’ therapy, the new trend is gaining widespread popularity among adults and more so married couples. Sexting was previously viewed as deviant and sexually promiscuous. However, its robust popularity among adults prompted a series of studies which albeit preliminary, have thus far confirmed a host of positive consequences among participants.
Sexting isn’t all explicit
Sexting doesn’t always have to be sexually explicit. It might involve conveying innuendos, sexual thoughts, fantasies, and urges suggestively. As mentioned earlier, sexting is associated with numerous benefits including enhancing intimacy among lovebirds. Subjects in recent studies have confirmed that the indulgence actually improves sexual connection among partners.
Enhances emotional intimacy
Sex in itself is known to enhance partners’ emotional intimacy and subsequently their general well-being. Sexting involves connecting on “sexual grounds” which can have the similar results. Romantic partners who sext feel supported and are in better a better position to manage stress and other emotional turmoil.
As you might have noticed in case you are an active sexter, sexting spices up your sex-life. Relationship couches believe that sexting is a marvelous foreplay. It is a sure ticket out of a dreadful dry spell. It is hard to ignore sultry nudes sent to your phone on a lazy Friday afternoon accompanied with sexually suggestive captions. When done right, sexting helps build up anticipation which can then be acted upon probably at a later time. It is the perfect tool for turning up the heat in your relationship and ensuring you are sexually active.
Perfect communication tool
Sexting can be an important communication tool in your relationship. Talking out your issues is essential in any relationship be it professional or romantic. Fortunately for romantic relationships you can air your views and suggestions via sexts. It is a safe space for recommending new sex positions- informing your partner in a playful way what works and what doesn’t in bed without sparking negative energy.
Sexting gives you the opportunity to share your wild sexual desires, perhaps propose some naughty expeditions which you believe will inject new enthusiasm into the relationship. The passion and excitement elicited through sexting is downright necessary for the quality and longevity of the relationship. If you feel that missionary isn’t doing you any justice I suggest saving your marriage with a -“how about doggystyle for dinner tonight” sext and watch it perform the magic.
Enhances body confidence and self-esteem
Sexting among teens was associated with lower self-esteem. However, a recent study revealed that the effect is opposite for adults. Adults that sexts happen to be more self-conscious and confident. They sext to derive pleasure unlike some teenagers who sext to compensate for something probably a form of psychological disorder.
If you are looking for a little physical validation then sexting could be your solution. A number of couples end up in therapy because they are not sure their partners are attracted to them. Getting a solid affirmation from your partner that they are attracted to you is fulfilling. This means that a positive response to your partner’s nudes can go a long way to enhancing how they feel about themselves and perhaps improve your sex life.
You’ll be surprised by the number of couples who shag only in the dark because one of them is ashamed of their body. Giving them a warm response on their nudes could help them gain more body confidence which would in turn reflect on the quality of your romantic lives. It is important to remind your partner that you think about them and that you are longing for an adventurous night. As discussed earlier, this helps build anticipation, pushing their sex drives through the ceiling ahead of a magical sexual experience.
Aids long distance relationships
Sexting is believed to have meaningful benefits among lovebirds in a long distance relationship. Sexting comes in handy when the only way to keep the fire burning is through constant communication. It helps keep your partner in mind and avoid countless temptations associated with dry spells. If you are good enough you can sext to strong orgasms- of course with aids of toys and a good lube for guys. In fact the internet has made it easy for men to masturbate to raunchy sexts by professional sexting models who knows just the right words to get them exploding all over the place.
Above all, sexting is fun. It is an exciting way to communicate with your significant other while building up sexual desire. Like other kinky sexual activities, sexting leads to a satisfactory romantic relationship. For others, sexting can be a perfect way to killing time on a less eventful day. Instead of day dreaming about your significant other, it might mean something to send them a sext and get yourself sucked into virtual romance.
Sexting for a healthy intimate relationship
Forget the “unjustified” health concerns-sexting is awesome! A decent number of researchers have confirmed a direct correlation between sexting and a fulfilling romantic relationship. The new trend has proven to be a magnificent way to pump eroticism into relationships- not only for kinky millenials but also for individuals in committed relationships.
Open sexual communication is an essential recipe for a healthy relationship, and sexting is at the center of it. Like great sex, sexting should be done right. It should be punchy, with a flirty twist. Sexting comes in different digital forms including raunchy texts, pictures, GIFs, emojis, memes among others.
Know your audience
The goal is to turn your partner on like crazy without coming out as abusive and arrogant. You need to be as natural as possible but don’t worry, after this crash program you’ll be sexting like a pro! First we’ll go through the rule of thumbs, the dos and don’ts of sexting. For starters, it is important to know your audience; what they like and what they don’t. Sexting should be consensual. Sending someone you just met unsolicited pictures of your dick is sexual harassment.
It is equally important to master the lingo. For instance calling her your bitch and other hardcore terminologies you learnt from porn may come out as abusive and trust me you don’t wanna send this kind of vibe to someone you are looking to impress. This boils down to knowing your partner well enough which will inform the type of language to use.
Don’t get me wrong- if they are okay with it I suggest you go with the flow but don’t take it too far though. Perfect timing is a big part of mastering the art of sexting. It doesn’t matter if you got everything right, if your text or picture falls in the wrong hands you ruined it for yourself and for the other party. Believe me you can’t move on from your nudes being broadcasted in a room packed with business executives.
Ask your partner if they are available for a playful session to avoid being the office laughing stock. Besides, great timing ensures that your significant other is in the right mood for sexting. This will save you from receiving cold responses like a thumbs up emoji for a steamy selfie of your cleavage.
Trying too hard is another common blunder people make while sexting. They fail to understand that sexting is about building up anticipating and having fun while at it. Ensure you are within your comfort zone. Decide how far you are willing to go, for instance, send them nudes that can hardly be traced back to you. Perhaps censor your face and maybe all identifiable body marks or tattoos. The last thing you want is waking up to your nudes circulated all over the internet.
Take it slow, begin with moderately flirtatious texts as you gradually escalate to outright explicit content. How you begin and proceed depends on how much you know the person. For instance, texting her that you feel like eating her pussy while you’ve only received a warm hug from her in reality is highly inappropriate. However, she gave you a kiss during the day it’s fine reminisce about it, perhaps tell her that you’re still thinking about the kiss and thank her for the fun earlier in the day. Build up from her response and in no time you’ll be swimming sexually suggestive texts.
A little humor
Additionally, humor is a perfect pillar of great sexting. Humor keeps the conversation lively and a little playful. Appearing serious and overly intense quickly spoils the mood. Focus at making the other person smile and laugh, be fun to converse with. It helps make them open up more and feel comfortable talking smut with you.
You should also be descriptive in a creative way. Don’t be obvious and obsolete. This goes to the older generation who may be tempted to use archaic phrases from the ‘70s. While they might have been panty-dropping back in the day, it is 2019 dammit! Learn the lingo like I mentioned earlier.
While being descriptive remember to be short and sweet. Stop with the Harry Porter- like shit that can cure her insomnia. Make her want you badly in precise phrases and sentences. Your communication should be easily digestible to make the conversation interactive and subsequently achieving the desired outcome.
If you are new to this ensure you learn to manage your anxiety. It helps to admit to your partner that you are a rookie but quite open to learning.
Sexting and emotional intimacy
A newly published study on the subject of computers in human behavior has linked sexting to increased emotional intimacy among partners in a romantic relationship. The new findings will go a long way to legitimizing sexting in adult relationships although there’s no guarantee that the new trend popularized by adolescents will increase commitment as well. According to the study, partners that sext often enjoy a healthy sex life which is without doubt an ingredient of as strong emotional bond.
A separate study also concluded that partners that exchange sexy messages have a generally greater sexual satisfaction. In light of these scientific studies, it is just a matter of time before sexting is adopted as a remedial marriage counselling tool. In fact, we are almost half way there considering relationship experts propose an open and more honest communication between partners in a romantic relationship.
Almost every passionless and sexless marriage ends in cheating then divorce in that order. Looking back to almost all of the said marriages, partners ceased to do the little things like communicating their feelings and disappointments which slowly by slowly became heavier and eventually sank the whole ship to the bottom of the sea. The lack of communication dried up the kink that was there in the first place exposing the partners’ ‘faults’ which had previously been concealed in their sexiness.
Sexting creates Liveliness
There’s a vibe of liveliness that comes with great descriptive sexting among partners. It provides an opportunity to connect on sexual grounds which is generally an intimate subject. Depending on how the message is packaged, the outcome could potentially go either way. Of course good sexting skills will increase your chances of getting laid while on the contrary things can go horribly sideways. Sex in itself is a sensitive subject and sending unsolicited sexts could be construed as sexual harassment which is punishable by law.
Therefore, sexting is recommended for consenting adults as a means of building sexual anticipation and desire. That’s right, flirting with your partner with sensual texts and nudes keeps eagerly yearning for the real action. It works perfectly in both casual and committed relationships. Even better, sexting can helps partners in long distant relationships keep the fire burning as well as rekindle the spark in fading relationships.
More often people don’t know what they want until it is shown to them. In this context, a suggestive snap of your breasts after a shower could be the miracle you need to revamp your sex life and ultimately save your marriage. It is easier when you’ve been together long enough and understand what works for your partner sexually. Woman have lots of advantage in this game because men are literally turned on by the smallest of things. You don’t need to go full nude to get him turned on like hell. For men, things work magically when they are left to imagination.
When he is having idle chatter with colleagues during lunch break hit him with a picture of your inner thighs captioned “guess what I’m not wearing”. It doesn’t have to be pictures always, a good naughty text can also do the trick. Don’t be too serious in your sexts, just thoughtfully playful if that’s a thing. Remind them of the great sexcapades of the past and how much you crave for the “stupid” things you did under the sheets, in the bathroom, couch and that one time in the woods during a hike. Make sure he connects with these memories and begin preparing for a romantic evening.
Good sex involves connecting strongly on emotional grounds. When emotions are taken out of sex it becomes straight rape so you can imagine how many people get raped “voluntarily” in their matrimonial beds. This points to the importance building up emotional intimacy ahead of every meaningful sex. Sexting helps partners communicate new ideas and thoughts without prejudice. In a playful way you can suggest kinky sex positions and techniques you would wish to try out with your partner.
I learnt that the best time to raise a concern is when everyone is having a good time and are not defensive unlike immediately when they committed the mistake. Humans are creatures of emotions not logic and their ego always springs to defense whenever they feel threatened physically or intellectually explaining why people don’t apologize even when they know they should. During sexting however, there’s no space for ego and couples can cleverly “demand” for an apology and straighten their relationships for the sake of sex if you understand what I’m saying. This psychology although weak reinforces sexting position in alleviating differences among partners and strengthening their emotional intimacy. Besides its role in building a strong emotional bond between partners in a romantic relationship, sexting is fun and a good way to pass time.
Remember all the essentials, take things slow, perfect timing, never trying too hard, be descriptive, humorous, and short and sweet! Get one foot in front of the other and soon enough you’ll get the hang of it!